First post

3w5d
12 dpo

Hi all, The obligatory first post. I just found out that I'm pregnant with #2. Our first child is six, nearly six and a half years old, and will be seven years and two months old when the new babe makes an appearance. It'll be like having two only children, which is fine for me.

I'm just 12 dpo today, so my period won't be missed until tomorrow.

We are planning for this birth to have the baby at home, unassisted. Just myself, my husband, and our six year old. This blog is for those who want to share in our preparations and my feelings about it. Any negative comments are welcome, as long as they're polite, and you don't mind if I don't change my mind. This is not being undertaken lightly. It has been well researched for years, even before we knew we were going to have another. I will be seeing a doctor throughout the pregnancy, and I will have tests and scans done, so we're not flying blind. In fact, if I was having a midwife attend, or if I was planning a birthing center birth I would have a far less invasive pregnancy. But we want to be prepared so we can change our plans, if necessary.

Why am I doing this? I'm sure I'll be asked this a lot. First, a hospital is not a place for me to give birth. It's far too structured without much emphasis on the mother. It's all about what's beeping, what the clock says. The people who work there don't know what birth should be. They see birth as catastrophes waiting to happen, rather than humanity happening as it should. If humans gave birth as poorly as OBs would have you believe we would have died out years and years ago. So a hospital is not an option unless I honestly NEED the services of an OB. And IMO, a healthy woman and baby don't.

Our six year old was born in a free standing birth center with a midwife, nurse, and doula there. It was lovely, but a combination of things have me not going back there. First, the midwife who attended is no longer there, and she was my favorite. Second, it's 45 minutes away now, we've since moved. Not something I want to do in labor. I want a planned unassisted birth, not an unassisted birth on the side of the road. Third, looking back on it they were stressing over things I wish they wouldn't have. I wasn't thirsty so I didn't drink, and they NEEDED a pee sample. So much so that they catheterized me. Is it really that important? My baby was born about an hour later, and everything was going properly. Nothing would have been learned by that. Instead they treatened me with an IV and fluids while everything was moving very quickly. I just wanted to be left to quietly labor at that point (which meant not pushing through every single contraction). So even though they were midwives, they ended up staring at numbers and points, rather than the overall picture, more than I would have liked. Midwives in this country are so stressed from having to work within such a narrow band, with the constant threat of litigation around them. I understand where they were coming from, and I don't fault them for it. I just don't want it.

So this time we're planning on just the three of us. Depending on my mood and my six year old I may ask my neighbor over. But ideally I would just like it to be a private moment between our newly expanded family.

So there we go. I do have access to medical care, should I desire it. My doctor knows about this and is on board. She had a homebirth herself. So if I change my mind I can use her midwife. Or I could see an OB, or in an emergency go to the hospital 10 minutes away. This is simply what I choose to do.