Or more accurately, who is "safe" to tell? I just called my GP's office. I'd left a message for her on a board we both belong to, but she's not a regular poster and she hasn't gotten it yet. So I called her office. The receptionist asked why I needed to leave a message.
"I don't know if I need an appointment with her or not. Could you ask her to call me?"
"What's this in regard to."
"I just need to know if she wants to see me."
"What is this about?"
"Well, I got a positive home pregnancy test last week, and I need to know if she wants to see me now or not."
*pause*
"Are you planning on going to an OB/GYN?"
"No, I don't think so."
"So is this in reference to a referral, do you need to see Dr. XXXX for that?"
"Could you just have her call me, please?"
If I had said I was planning an UC, would the receptionist have passed along my message? Will my doctor get in trouble for seeing a pregnant woman she has no desire to assist in the delivery (she doesn't deliver babies, like so many doctors the insurance is just too high)? Can the lab tech know? My doctor warned me already that the person she'll send me to for my ultrasounds is NOT homebirthing friendly. But he's the best, and apparently he did hers. I think that's how she knows he's not going to be receptive. But I can keep my mouth closed.
My friends know, and they know I don't make irresponsible decisions, so those who don't agree with it are keeping their mouths closed (let's see if that goes nine months, but if not I know they'll be respectful). But it feels nearly dangerous to tell other people. Would someone call CPS on us? Nothing illegal is happening here, and yet I feel I need to live under the radar of those I don't know. Even among my friends I don't talk about it unless I know their stance. Or they know I'm having a homebirth, but nothing beyond that. I don't lie, if they ask I'll tell. But I don't know if there are people who would try to sabotage me going about their lives around me. This is a new journey for us.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
DH passed this along to me
For those who don't know, The Onion is a satire newspaper, not to be taken seriously.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
First post
3w5d
12 dpo
Hi all, The obligatory first post. I just found out that I'm pregnant with #2. Our first child is six, nearly six and a half years old, and will be seven years and two months old when the new babe makes an appearance. It'll be like having two only children, which is fine for me.
I'm just 12 dpo today, so my period won't be missed until tomorrow.
We are planning for this birth to have the baby at home, unassisted. Just myself, my husband, and our six year old. This blog is for those who want to share in our preparations and my feelings about it. Any negative comments are welcome, as long as they're polite, and you don't mind if I don't change my mind. This is not being undertaken lightly. It has been well researched for years, even before we knew we were going to have another. I will be seeing a doctor throughout the pregnancy, and I will have tests and scans done, so we're not flying blind. In fact, if I was having a midwife attend, or if I was planning a birthing center birth I would have a far less invasive pregnancy. But we want to be prepared so we can change our plans, if necessary.
Why am I doing this? I'm sure I'll be asked this a lot. First, a hospital is not a place for me to give birth. It's far too structured without much emphasis on the mother. It's all about what's beeping, what the clock says. The people who work there don't know what birth should be. They see birth as catastrophes waiting to happen, rather than humanity happening as it should. If humans gave birth as poorly as OBs would have you believe we would have died out years and years ago. So a hospital is not an option unless I honestly NEED the services of an OB. And IMO, a healthy woman and baby don't.
Our six year old was born in a free standing birth center with a midwife, nurse, and doula there. It was lovely, but a combination of things have me not going back there. First, the midwife who attended is no longer there, and she was my favorite. Second, it's 45 minutes away now, we've since moved. Not something I want to do in labor. I want a planned unassisted birth, not an unassisted birth on the side of the road. Third, looking back on it they were stressing over things I wish they wouldn't have. I wasn't thirsty so I didn't drink, and they NEEDED a pee sample. So much so that they catheterized me. Is it really that important? My baby was born about an hour later, and everything was going properly. Nothing would have been learned by that. Instead they treatened me with an IV and fluids while everything was moving very quickly. I just wanted to be left to quietly labor at that point (which meant not pushing through every single contraction). So even though they were midwives, they ended up staring at numbers and points, rather than the overall picture, more than I would have liked. Midwives in this country are so stressed from having to work within such a narrow band, with the constant threat of litigation around them. I understand where they were coming from, and I don't fault them for it. I just don't want it.
So this time we're planning on just the three of us. Depending on my mood and my six year old I may ask my neighbor over. But ideally I would just like it to be a private moment between our newly expanded family.
So there we go. I do have access to medical care, should I desire it. My doctor knows about this and is on board. She had a homebirth herself. So if I change my mind I can use her midwife. Or I could see an OB, or in an emergency go to the hospital 10 minutes away. This is simply what I choose to do.
12 dpo
Hi all, The obligatory first post. I just found out that I'm pregnant with #2. Our first child is six, nearly six and a half years old, and will be seven years and two months old when the new babe makes an appearance. It'll be like having two only children, which is fine for me.
I'm just 12 dpo today, so my period won't be missed until tomorrow.
We are planning for this birth to have the baby at home, unassisted. Just myself, my husband, and our six year old. This blog is for those who want to share in our preparations and my feelings about it. Any negative comments are welcome, as long as they're polite, and you don't mind if I don't change my mind. This is not being undertaken lightly. It has been well researched for years, even before we knew we were going to have another. I will be seeing a doctor throughout the pregnancy, and I will have tests and scans done, so we're not flying blind. In fact, if I was having a midwife attend, or if I was planning a birthing center birth I would have a far less invasive pregnancy. But we want to be prepared so we can change our plans, if necessary.
Why am I doing this? I'm sure I'll be asked this a lot. First, a hospital is not a place for me to give birth. It's far too structured without much emphasis on the mother. It's all about what's beeping, what the clock says. The people who work there don't know what birth should be. They see birth as catastrophes waiting to happen, rather than humanity happening as it should. If humans gave birth as poorly as OBs would have you believe we would have died out years and years ago. So a hospital is not an option unless I honestly NEED the services of an OB. And IMO, a healthy woman and baby don't.
Our six year old was born in a free standing birth center with a midwife, nurse, and doula there. It was lovely, but a combination of things have me not going back there. First, the midwife who attended is no longer there, and she was my favorite. Second, it's 45 minutes away now, we've since moved. Not something I want to do in labor. I want a planned unassisted birth, not an unassisted birth on the side of the road. Third, looking back on it they were stressing over things I wish they wouldn't have. I wasn't thirsty so I didn't drink, and they NEEDED a pee sample. So much so that they catheterized me. Is it really that important? My baby was born about an hour later, and everything was going properly. Nothing would have been learned by that. Instead they treatened me with an IV and fluids while everything was moving very quickly. I just wanted to be left to quietly labor at that point (which meant not pushing through every single contraction). So even though they were midwives, they ended up staring at numbers and points, rather than the overall picture, more than I would have liked. Midwives in this country are so stressed from having to work within such a narrow band, with the constant threat of litigation around them. I understand where they were coming from, and I don't fault them for it. I just don't want it.
So this time we're planning on just the three of us. Depending on my mood and my six year old I may ask my neighbor over. But ideally I would just like it to be a private moment between our newly expanded family.
So there we go. I do have access to medical care, should I desire it. My doctor knows about this and is on board. She had a homebirth herself. So if I change my mind I can use her midwife. Or I could see an OB, or in an emergency go to the hospital 10 minutes away. This is simply what I choose to do.
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